Archive for the 'Parenting' Category

Jan 17 2013

Tuition

I am sitting on the fence and sometimes I think I contradict myself.  Tuition, to attend or not to attend.

Tuition is part of almost every student’s life in Malaysia. Providing tuition is a lucrative business. You see tuition centers sprouting all around the neighborhood,  on top of that you have a choice for private home tutors (which both my parents are) to provide one to one tutoring service, and then there’s these private tuition groups available at daycare centers, rented house and home of the tutor.  Even schools offer after class/weekend tuition service.

It’s really necessary to attend tuition?

For the first 3 1/2 years of JS’s schooling journey, she has not attended tuition. I thought I could teach her myself. For me, education is a process of obtaining knowledge not for sitting for exams. I feel that all tuitions are gearing to prepare students on sitting exam and promising how many As they will get.  I feel that tuition is merely tutor giving out a lot of worksheets and get them to do repetitive works, giving exam answering tactics and not so much of imparting knowledge. When I coach my children, it is very different. We often branched out from what is cover inn the books and we took very long time and a little further to do research. I want them to truly understand and to know how it these knowledge are related in our daily life and how to adapt what they learn in real life. But it’s a very long and tedious process which do not promise instant result. You won’t see it right now and then, you won’t see what they’ve gained from their exam marks. All these while JS grades were average, not top of her class, but good enough not be anywhere near the bottom. Her marks remained between 50 – 90. But starting last year, after the 3rd exam of the year, I notice marks for certain subjects had gone down.

As much as i would like to convince myself marks aren’t important and we don’t judge our children by marks, I do have a little worries. A little feeling of something needs to be done. The father feels that something needs to be done too, hence we started looking up for tuition class for her.

I was quite reluctant to start off this tuition trend for my children. I wanted so much to be full involved in their education. I don’t want to tax and wear them out with extra tuition class (some gives extra homework to be done at home, some have endless essays, words to memorize) .  I always have the thought that tuition centers merely buy extra workbooks for them to do, which it not a difficult task for me. But what was difficult for me was to sit down coaching them without distraction from the two younger ones. As much as i love to do it myself, my hands are full as I don’t have a maid. I am not a superwoman and some task needs to be outsourced. Hence with hesitation, we started off sending JS for tuition and getting a private tutor for WH. But i told the kids if they find it too much to bear, then we will work out something else. I told them that by sending them to tuition is not aiming for them to score 100 marks , we are just getting extra help in explaining what they learn in school.

She started her tuition lesson in Aug 2012 and ended in Oct 2012 (class ended along with school holidays). She was happy with the class , she didn’t feel it was an extra burden. In fact during year end award presentation, she received a “improvement award” (学业进步奖)from school, which we have not expected. We didn’t know this award existed.  I do wonder for a second , was it solely her own effort, or was it the tuition class. Would she have made it without tuition?

When the new school term started, I was taking my own sweet time deciding on tuition. As she is in std 5 this year, the school requires them to attend weekend tuition. During the first week of school, she was so bored after school, running out of inspiration to do any craft, she begged me to send her for tuition. I said hold your horses, you don’t even know what activities you will be signing up yet. I don’t want to end up you being tired and worn off.

Later during the second week of school, she told me “my principal said if attend this tuition from school and if we pay attention in class everyday, that is sufficient already, we no longer need any extra tuition from outside”  Sounds good to me.  So we were discussing, that if she goes to school tuition, then I won’t look for anymore tuition for her like last year.  I always keep my option open and I always let them know if one thing own work out, we always have the flexibility to find a workaround.

Then came the notice and form from school. I noticed that the school tuition is to be held twice a month on Saturday after their extra curicular activities which starts at 7.30a.m and ends at 9a.m. Straight on, they need to sit in for tuition till 12pm. We were not given the option to choose what subjects to choose, in fact there is no option to say that the student can be exempted. Which means from 9a.m to 12p.m, they have to sit in for 5 subjects in a normal class environment. Which is no difference from a normal school day. How effective this would be? I doubt.

There and then I decided it’s a waste of time to attend and I told her there is no need to go and I have written a letter of exemption for her. I told her class teacher also (she is our neighbor), she was asking if it’s because of transport issue and she can help me with the fetching. I told her Saturday is our family day.

At the same time i found a tuition center (more of a daycare center that offers tuition) near home which she likes and she has attended two session so far and she is enjoying it as some of her friends are there. Three days out of the week in the afternoon, she goes for tuition for two hours for BM, Mandarin and Science. She wanted Maths too.. but for me, I feel spending four afternoon after school at tuition is very tiring .. really sounds like I am a super lazy mum which prioritize REST , REST and REST! By the way, unlike any Chinese school, JS has got not many homework from school. If she doesnt go for tuition, her afternoons are usually free and easy and pretty relaxing.

As for WH who’s suppose to have his private tuition resumed , has got no need for tuition anymore. SK syllabus is really far more relaxing than Chinese school. I will coach him on his BM personally until to the extend i no longer can help.

Something to ponder on though… why Malaysian student needs tuition..

- It is because our ministry of education had set a very high standard of syllabus whereby our students aren’t able to cope and absorb all the knowledge till the extend they need tuition to catch up

- It is because of school teacher’s incapability? Is it because school teacher do not know how to teach, hence students need tuition to learn what they are suppose to learn?

- Is it because of the students problem? What makes them the lack of capability to adsorb what is taught in school.

- Is it parental problem? Whereby parents think that 90% is not good enough and they are aiming for the children to be in the top 5?

As mother who wants to unschool, feels a little guilty of sending her kids to tuition. But today, I stumbled on this , and it makes me feel relief a little’

unschooling does not mean that we don’t ever do workbooks, that we don’t ever practice our math skills, that we don’t seek out mentors and put our children in formal classes. We do all of those things. What it does mean is that I don’t expect them to learn anything at a predetermined time. I don’t believe that when it comes to learning there is some magical age appropriate topic that you must study when you reach a certain age or that learning can only be obtained through workbooks, textbooks, and tests.

To me, unschooling means that you educate outside of the box, that you use the resources, the community, and the real life opportunities that surround you to raise curious, knowledge-seeking children.

 

2 responses so far

Jan 17 2013

Re: Helicopter Mum

Published by under Parenting

After I have written the post and my status update in FB, many mums confessed and jumped into conclusion that they think they are one. :D Especially referring to the playing slide part.

Having some rules for your child while playing the slide at the playground don’t make you a helicopter mum. What I meant was the mum we met was really really really getting into our nerves.

I do understand that we mums set rules so that our kids don’t appear to be a nuisance in public or costing discomfort to others.

Take for example the slide, mums only allowed their kids to climb up the steps and then slide down instead of the other way round for more safety reasons. For me, it’s not that I am selfish and don’t care. In our case, if there’s other little children playing around at the same area, I will remind my children to be careful and watch out for the little ones. Shall they want to do something funny, they have to wait until the area is cleared and the little one moves away. For my little one, I am always watchful by her side. If anyone wants to slide down while she is attempting to crawl up, I just carry her away telling her to let the other kids slide down first as it’s dangerous that the other kids may kick her and she is blocking their way. once it’s cleared, I put her back and let her crawl up again. Just as simple as that.. no need to say NO.

As I observed, 10 out of 10 kids would attempt to crawl up the slide, other than just climbing up the stairs and slide down.

And have you ever observed how other children, the older ones play when there are little kids around. They do know how to give way, avoid the little ones , look out for them (not just my children, most of the older children I met at our playground), very seldom they get carried away and run right into the younger kids. It’s their instinct.  So instead of saying “STOP” “DON’T”, just remind them to be careful.

Something else the mum we met the other day said that annoyed us was which and every time she opens her mouth and speak it is something negative

Can’t she just give some approval like “Good job” “Well Done” “Yes, you can try but be careful” . She is like a hawk staring at her kids. She wasn’t very happy when her son plays with another boy that was there earlier. She was trying to control how they play and if she could, I guess she only wants her child to play very properly on their own and not running mad and wild with the other kids around. Stunts are not allowed.

She also didn’t allow her little girl to squat and observe what’s on the ground. She doesn’t allow her girl to pick on the grass.  Someone left a sandplay spade under the slide. Her kids wanted to touch and she was screaming at them to put down with a disgusted look as if the toy is filled with germs.  We and the other children do leave our toys (skipping ropes, balls, bicycle etc) around and we all share and play. As long as we put it back or ask for permission.

Her kids swayed away to the pebbles paths and played and she was furious. It was like 10 steps away from the slide/play area. She was furious that her kids weren’t playing just at the play area. She stormed off to the girls with the kids running behind her calling “mummy, mummy” She said “You are not playing properly and we are leaving now”

woohoo…. great…. peace of mind and peace on our ears else I really would have dragged my kids and leave the park earlier.

Bringing your kids out to the park/playground to play is to give the opportunity to explore and interact with others. You don’t confine them with your rules and don’ts

Just recently (last Friday), I have attended a parenting seminar.

One thing that the speaker said so profoundly was “Kids learn through experiences and not through restrictions”

 

 

One response so far

Jan 16 2013

Helicopter Mum

Published by under Parenting

Brought the children to the playground yesterday evening.  There were these 2 kids and mum group which we have not met before. (Boy about age 5-6, girl about 2++) . We didn’t pay much attention to them initially and proceed with our own fun, as there are also other kids around which my children know them. But then after staying on a while, something got into our nerves badly and we can’t possibly ignore these new comers to our playground.   This mum is a HELICOPTER MUM!

She is so annoying with her NOs, DON’Ts, CAN’Ts and FOLLOW THE RULE.  Every sentence she speak is with a “NO” , “DON’T” , “FOLLOW THE RULES”. She keeps yelling at her children to follow the rules especially when the kids were on the slide. (Her rules were climb up the steps accordingly and slide down and repeat… no other ways are allowed on the slide) Oh, c’mon, give the children a break and let their creativity runs. I can hear her son protest “But MUM.. I am just trying to help!” (helping another boy who is also on the slide). As long as the kids are not in harm to themselves and others, why not let them explore other ways of playing?

I do understand that some mums do so because they are concern that her own kids might cause discomfort to other people around (especially those with angels/special kids), or she knows that her kids are rowdier. But from my observation, these two kids are just plain normal kids doing what any other normal kids would do at the playground.

We regulars at the playground,  do say Don’t and Nos when necessary, but often we – mums, babysitters, maids, fathers, we sit aside and watch over our children (unless for very young babies and toddlers) and let them play freely. But this mum, hovers around her children, waving out the hanky and running after her kids to wipe their sweat. Everything to her also “CAN’T’. I wonder what’s the point of bringing the kids outdoor , to the playground and have so many restriction.

JS and me found her to be so annoying that we wanted to leave the playground, we would have if she stays on for another minute. But thank goodness, she left not long after.

I updated my FB status on this matter and I got respond asking me what did the mum say exactly. My friends were worried that they are like helicopter mums too. And oops..i have come to realize they do have restriction on their kids.

I have came to realize, maybe some mums deem my kids as rowdy, samseng when they are at the playground. My kids have all sort of ways to play on the slide, swings and  bars. And the way they play catch with their neighborhood friends at the park may not get approval from mums who want they kids to play by rules. It may not occur to us all the times, as everyone at the playground plays like my children, but now I remembered there were a few occasion that mum did pull their kids out early thinking my kids are bad influence. And usually they are not from our neighborhood, coz they don’t walk/cycle to the park…they came by car.  So as the helicopter mum yesterday, I don’t think they are our neighbors, as they came  by car.

3 responses so far

Jan 15 2013

School Rush – SJKC VS SK

Published by under Parenting

SJKC

Pitch dark
Before sunrise,
Busy sometimes chaotic traffic,  some cars even cut queue to rush to drop their children off
Children, like a group of ducks, a flock of sheep wearing down by heavy school bags walking into the school compound. Some not fully awaken , zombified.
I dont know if there’s teacher standing at the gate. Usually there’s just rela and security guards controlling the traffic and ushering the students in. Teachers car driving into the school. Even if the kids see the teachers at the walk way, they probably do a not so proper bow and greet the teachers and rush off

(this was taken last thursday where i send JS to school myself, coz we overslept and missed the transporter. This will repeatedly happen throughout the year where we oversleep. It happened many times last year!)

SK

Sun already out, a bright day ahead.
From my observation the past two days, there’s also a teacher or two standing at the gate to greet the students. And the students actually stop, hold the teacher’s hand and “bersalam” to the teachers. As we Chinese have so much pride in about respect to elderly, i think most often it is not practice. But for the Malay culture, they actually do it on a daily basis.

By the way, the school I have chosen for WH is a small scale school. We have three 3 SK in our township. This is consider the smallest with a total of 500 odds students the whole school. For standard 3, there are only 3 classes.  I think there are less than 30 students in his class. There’s another chinese boy in his class too.

4 responses so far

Jan 01 2013

School Starts

Published by under Parenting

The new school term is going to start in less than 10 hours. I am dreading it already as I need to get use to getting up early again!! However, my kids are looking forward to going back to school. They are excited and started getting ready of all the necessary. It’s not like they had such boring long holidays at home that they can’t wait to be back to school, we had tonnes of fun, doing loads and yet they miss school.

For once I fought hard to homeschool them, thinking that it will be the best of them. As JS had not a very pleasant preschool school years, in fact the last year, she was traumatized when we shifted cross state and got her transferred to a new school. It was then I started joining the homeschool community. I was unhappy when hubby was against my idea. I tried hard to convince him. I felt like a failure not able to give them all the best that homeschooling can offers when I have all the resources. I felt jealous of all the homeschoolers and thinking of all the best that my children are missing out. At the same time i have friends that is complaining loads about the school syllabus.

What changed my view is that I met a few school going mums that is pro homeschooling. We tried to balance out what the school can’t give. They inspired me. I guess the most important is the parent’s mindset. I think the children can feel it. I particularly like what Madam Poh Yew, a former school teacher, a motivational speaker said. She said “I have the ability to make very thing positive even in the most negative situation” . She raised three very successful children and at that time (15 – 20 years ago) she didn’t even know what is homeschooling and unschooling. But her kids are school goers and what her kids did after school was pretty much unschool.

I am sending a lot of positive vibes out to the children and not instilling any fear in them or putting pressure on them. I do it with the most sincere heart without doubts on my own action and feeling. With a positive mindset, my kids take to schooling with a positive attitude too.

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Nov 06 2012

Social Grace & Courtesy

Published by under Parenting

Last Saturday, we went to this restaurant “Da Feng Shou” (大丰收) at Ara Damansara for family dinner. It was suppose to be an early birthday celebration dinner for SIL#1 and JL where their birthday falls on 5th November. However the family meal time turned out to be an unpleasant evening for us. Lest not mentioned about the extremely slow service at this restaurant. It was one of the patrons at the restaurant that night that ruined our evening.

Since there were 10 of us, we already made early reservation at the restaurant. We reached there on time at 7pm. The restaurant was already packed and busy. Next to our table was a group of mothers with their kids waiting for their food to be served. Three mothers, one maid and 5 kids( with the youngest about 3 years old and the rest ranging between age 4-5 ) to be exact.  I reckon it’s probably is a mother’s night out. Perhaps they are just SAHM like me having a long needed mother’s gathering, time out session. At first we didn’t pay much attention to them. We waited more than 40 minutes for our food and they were served before us as they arrived first . But throughout the wait, JS did mention to me that the kids were really noisy, hitting the chopsticks on the bowls and cups. (and obviously the adults did nothing to stop them) I told JS it’s really none of our business how these kids behave. Afterall the chattering noise from the other diners were enough to fill the very small dining area and the clinging and clanking sounds of a chopstick doesn’t make much different. This is really a very small restaurant with just eight tables indoor and a few more tables on the five foot way, leaving a very narrow walkway between tables to the entrance.

  This is the view of the restaurant we dined in last Saturday. I didn’t take this photo. Photo source from the internet.

While we were in the midst of our meal, the kids on the  next table obviously had done with theirs and started leaving their seats. They started playing at the very small space next to their table and in front of the entrance while the adults including the maid were still at their meals. It was fine with us, we can tolerate that as we too have children on our own and we know kids generally can’t sit at the table for long. In fact we didn’t pay attention to them. What brought to our attention was that these kids started loosing control. They started playing catch, running under of of the vacant table where the patron just left, squealing at the top of the voice to one extend it was so loud and unbearable that both my SIL and FIL exclaimed “Ooi” in a loud tone to stop them. And my SIL though annoyed but still talked politely to the mothers “Can you please control your children!” I think the mothers were pissed to be told off too. One of the mothers said ” THIS IS A PUBLIC PLACE. FOR GOODNESS SAKE, THEY ARE JUST CHILDREN. DON’T EXPECT TO SHUT THEM UP” We weren’t happy , but we didn’t want to stir up a fight and we left the matter aside and continue with our meal. I heard one of the mother mentioned something like we have children and we don’t understand their situation just because our 4 children are behaving very well, seated quietly at the table. Her sarcastic tone seems to say that MY CHILDREN ARE ABNORMAL TO BE SITTING DOWN QUIETLY AND NOT BEHAVING LIKE ANY NORMAL CHILDREN!! (mind you, my children are never entertained by gadgets while we wait for our meals and yet they behave)

That’s not the end of the story yet. Just before they left, this mother who talk so much, all the sudden banged on the table so hard that stunned everyone at the restaurant till there was a pin drop silence. It was like showing she can behave just as she wish. JS told me later “Mummy, she said she doesn’t care if her children tear down the restaurant “  That really annoyed my hubby a lot. We lost our appetite and didn’t want to wait for the rest of the dishes.

  The woman in black in the hooligan.

This mum didn’t even apologize and feels that the kids , she had the rights to behave just how they wish. She did not even attempt to bring her kids under control but took out a camera and started recording video. (That was before the kids gone really really out of control)

I know I am not all righteous. The way I raise my kids may not be perfect to others and my kids are not goody goody perfect as well. But I totally disagree with her that the restaurant is a public place, they are kids and hence they can behave just and how they like without any control.

I do understand children’s behaviours well. I understand they can easily get restless and they need to be moving about all the time. But as adult, we really should be teaching the kids about social , grace and courtesy. It is never too young to teach a child table manners, it is never too young to teach a child how to behave during outings. How to talk and behave in public places such as the library, swimming pool, post office, museum, restaurant, places of worship.  I agree with her.. the restaurant is the public place but that doesn’t mean they can behave just how they like without considering the other patron/diners’s feeling.  Without considering if the act could be a nuisance to other, making others feel discomfort.  Moreover, the restaurant can be a hazardous place to play. Imagine it is such a narrow walkway and a busy restaurant with waiters and waitresses walking in and out serving hot food. As an adult, a responsible mum, it’s that her duty/responsibility to keep the child checked, so that the child is not on the way making the workers more difficult to work? Do the mums expect the waiters and waitresses constantly check out the kids without knocking/pouring and scalding the kids? What if the kids suddenly run and knock on the workers carrying hot dish? I am sure the mums will blame the workers.

I am not being rigid. Not allowing kids to run about in a restaurant doesn’t mean that I am a militant/tiger mum who does not give freedom to child. When we give freedom to children, it has to be freedom within limits. It has got to be deem appropriate according to place , timing and event.

 

4 responses so far

Sep 13 2012

Paper Plane

Published by under Parenting

WH stumbled on this book at the craft teacher’s home library and was so engrossed with it that he said he must borrow it back.  Since it is a borrowed book, we can’ t tear out the paper to make the plane, so he has to find a way to come up with one

In order to get the same effect, he has to not only read and follow the instruction, but to measure and cut it to size and even draw and design it.

One of the complete model.

It has come to a stage that I need not have to be involved in their craft. They only show me the end product to take picture.

While flying the plane, he asked and discovered a lot of thing

Like

“why can’t my plane fly straight? ” “Is the tail too heavy..I think so” “Maybe I should use another type of paper” ” Paper is heavy right?” “I shouldn’t use cellphone tape at the tail, it cause the plane to be heavy and somersault” “if I do…maybe…” etc etc… and he proceed with his own modification to make the plane fly better.

To me, the whole process is a learning process. It is critical for a child to able to ask questions , think and find solutions. This is what our education system is lacking, but I am trying as much as possible to provide the opportunity for them to learn something out of the rigid spoon feed system.

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Sep 13 2012

Learning Through Play

Published by under Parenting

I am not a helicopter mum, neither am I a tiger mum. Though the kids go to school, we try to be unschool after school hours as much as possible. Which mean I dont sit down and drill them with worksheet and revision. To me, as long as they know their stuffs to survive school and exams, that shall be good enough. We shall be spending more time and energy exploring more interesting topics and stuffs that  kids are passionate in. (Though daddy doesn’t quite agree with me and still think that they need to have minimal study time, hence the tuition class for them since 2 months ago)

The two older kids are having school holiday this week due to UPSR exam. They spent their waking hours playing, drawing and flipping story books. Yesterday when I was busying downstairs, they were all playing upstairs. They always have the ability to come up with activities to entertain themselves.

When I went upstairs, I realize they were passing messages through flying paper planes. The first question that flashed through my mind was “how much can WH write?” (knowing that he knows how to spell and read very limited words) but the sister ensure me that WH did write and know how to spell.

The paper plane that they slot message in the tube and fly to each other.

Kids do learn through play. We really need not have to teach/drill them but to guide them, motivate them and provide them the environment to learn. In this case, WH had to try on his own accord and will to write and practice spelling and sentence construction without realizing it and the sister has to help coach and correct him. Instead of me getting her to sit down and coach the brother.

There were many instances that they do learn through play from maths to science and to language.

We need to have faith in our children…

 

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Mar 26 2012

Gadgets

Published by under Parenting

Recently a friend with two sons was asked by another friend A that if she would intentionally expose her sons to gadget. My friend said “No, she wouldn’t. The fact is they don’t own any of these gadgets”

A asked “Don’t they ever have exposure to it, be it from friends /relatives when they are out”

Friend ” They do. It is common thing that parents these day entertain they children with these gadgets”

A ” They do?? Don’t they pester you to get one for themselves too?”

B asked ” Why don’t you let them play? Won’t you afraid that they will be left out from their peer if you don’t expose them ? What if when they go out with their friends, everyone is playing ipad and your children do not know what is ipad? Do your children know what is angry birds?”

My very wise friend said ” Those who buried their heads into gadgets , are the one that is left out from the society”

Seriously, my own opinion is that , why do we have to be a trend follower? Why can’t we be a trend setter. If you child loves to read, draw and invent own games, why do they need to feel awkward that they are not into gadget instead? Why can’t the other kids follow them to read and draw? Look at Tan Sri Vincent Tan, he made money from FB, he has FB shares, but he doesn’t have a personal FB account. Same thing, one do not need to play iPad, angry birds to know about iPad and angry birds… those who comment so are quite narrow minded.

Recently JS’s bff brought over her ipad to “show off” to her. Initially I thought that ipad is a family gadget, but later JS told me it belongs solely to her friend. Her mum bought it for her since the secondary school going brother already own a laptop (which I believe is used for playing games and fb more than any other proper use). I realize that most often than not, working parents are the one who will indulge their children in these materials goods/needs to compensate lost time with the children.

I am glad that my children never pester me to buy any for them , neither do they feel envy over their friends. They know what is necessity and they know we are not depriving them that they feel left out from their peers, we are not so conservative to shut them off from gadgets, but we provide what is necessary. For example we did not hesitate to get JS a bamboo pad as well as an electronic dictionary, which we think will help her in her work.

It is very common scene at the eateries now that everyone on the table are busy with their gadgets and don’t often talk to each other, sometimes they even use gadget as an ice breaker… but it has never the case at home with my children.

Recently SIL host a dinner for her guests and the children who only meet each other once a year did not need gadget to break the ice and they are talking and playing together already..


 

3 responses so far

Feb 16 2012

Bullies

Published by under Parenting

Two days ago , on Valentine’s day. WH came home looking really upset the moment he got down from the transporter’s car. The moment I opened the gate and he stepped into the home compound, he started crying. Not just sob, but loud hysteric cry . My immediate reaction was questioning. Between sob he said that he has been bullied in the van. I tried to get as much details as i can for him. And after much probing , this is the whole story

In the van. A standard 2 girl (different class), tried to push him towards other girls in the van and attempting to get WH to kiss those girls.

What are the rest of the girls reaction? They teased and scream and called him “pervert” in Chinese. WH tried to resist the girl’s push and another standard 3 boy, seeing that WH resisted, pull WH’s hair and ear. When WH got home, his right ear was still red.  I asked him did he stand firm and fight back? He mentioned he did pinch them. He also said that he cried in the van and the two bullies tried to make him laugh again. I asked him if the transporter reacted? He said no. He didn’t give a damn to stop the children from misbehaving.  (JS mentioned that during the morning trip, where the children were all saying ‘f’ word, the uncle didnt’ stop to correct them)

He told me even before this incident, they have been teasing him about him having girlfriends. He said he is upset, but never fought back. Because I told him no point to argue over what people likes to say about you. You can’t control what other people say.

I was very heartbroken when I listen to his tale and seeing him cry. Feel really sad that I was not there  for him. I told him that I will go have a word with the bullies.

I did the next day. I personally went to the school to pick him up, with all my three powerpuff girls tagging along. First I spoke to the transporter. He said it is just normal kids squabble, not really a big deal as the next instant , they will be friend again. He also mentioned that the girl is always a busy body that likes to provoke others. And mentioned that the moms of these two bullies actually quarreled among themselves before.

When the kids were out from the school. I caught the bullies and send my message loud and clear across that I don’t stand any nonsense from them of bullying my son again. I took their photos and threaten them that I will post in FB and send it to the authority shall the bullying continue. My intention of getting them is not to ask for apologies. My intention was to warn them don’t fool around with me.

One thing I am very proud is with my powerpuff girls. They are real fighters and they do stand beside their brother as a family in incident like this. That night, the girls were really mad. The said comforting words to WH like how they want to revenge , in a very defensive tone. Even little baby who has not much speech is hugging and rubbing her brother.

The next day as promised, after JS finished school, she went to hunt the bullies to give them warning before I went to see them in the evening. She did that despite of risking being scold by the afternoon session teacher and despite being stop by the junior prefects in the afternoon school session.

Now, here’s something to ponder.

Am I overreacted? Am I over protective? Is this consider a serious case of bully? Have I dealt with it correctly especially on the bullies part?

I know very well that I should be jumping over and be so defensive , I know that certain times, my kids need to be trained to defense themselves. But in this case, I still strongly feel that I should go and give them warning. I want my son to trust me that I am there listening to him, I am there for him, I am there to protect him as a mother.  I don’t want him to start having a feeling that when he tells me something, I do not react upon it and eventually he will seize telling me what happen, because I am giving him the impression that I don’t care.

Then , there comes the advise that I should speak to the teacher, the principal of the school and the parents of the bullies.

Now , this happened outside school. I do not know if they misbehave in school or not, does that justified that the teacher/principal should have a hand in it?

Tell the parents? If these kids are bullies, I don’t think they have a very good family upbringing. The kids behaviour are often the reflection of the family, their parents. What good to talk to the parents, if the parents don’t see their own problem and change?

For the time being, I don’t have time to lecture and talk reason to the bullies. My priority is to prevent my son from being bullied again.

 

Here’s an article about dealing with bullies in school from kidshealth.org

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Words Of Wisdom

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth

~ Khalil Gibran, The Prophet


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