Archive for the 'Motherhood' Category

Oct 02 2014

Additional Duty In Mum’s Task List

Published by under Motherhood

So, there’s a tween in the house. Generally at this age, they have their own friends and own agendas. They like to hangout with friends at mall, cafe or fast food chain,  they like to go friend’s house and they want sleepover. Hence there’s this additional duty that is adding on to the already so long mother’s task list.  But how far would you go to perform such duty?

Well, setting up playdate is nothing new to me. When WH was six and still in preschool, I am already doing this driver’s duty of fetching his friend from the friend’s parent shop to our home for them to play and then send him back. I did it because I pity him as the only boy at home whereby the girls have each other and JS has a very good friend who stays just right next door and always come over to play.

This driver’s duty extended where JS started getting invitation from classmates to play badminton at the clubhouse after school. I would drove her to the clubhouse, drop her off and pick up at an agreed time.  Still not that bad as it was not frequent.

Came this year, the driver’s job scope widen again. These kids want to have hangout at McD/Starbucks after school, and because her friend’s parents are working, I have to go pick the friends,  drop them off at the hangout place and pick them up two hours later and send the friends home. She invited friends for sleepover and I have to go pick up the friend up and send the friend home after sleepover.

These two days, right after she got back from school , she asked if I could drop her off at Ash’s house.  I am a little reluctant. Though Ash stays quite near our home, but she stays in a gated/guarded community. Not those hi 5 guards nor those that you can drive right up to the  guard house , register, leave your driving license and drive in. She stays in this community where I have to park my car somewhere, walk to the guard house to register, wait for the guard to call the owner of the house (which in this case, the mum of Ash who is at work) before I could drive in. And to repeat this process when I were to pick her up later. I just find it too troublesome. Moreover, there is no adult at Ash’s house. She is alone at home. I turned down JS’s request and she wasn’t happy. Stomping feet when going upstairs and showing me real blackened face.

Ash had been to our home for sleepover before. An eldest child of 3 from a divorce family. I don’t know her parent personally. Have not met them but the mum allowed her for a sleepover at our place. The first time, I picked her up from school and send her back home after dinner with my ILs quite late at night the  next day. That was the first time I met the mum in the dark outside their house. Can’t really see how she looks like, no small talk, she just thanked me for sending A home. That’s it.

Last Sunday, there were suppose to go school for sport’s day. Ash actually spent her weekend with her dad somewhere far away from school and our township. Simply because Ash’s dad can’t send her to school on time on Sunday morning, she asked JS if she could stay over on Saturday night. So I went to pick Ash up from her house on Saturday night after dinner with IL and to find that she was alone at home waiting for me.

When I was young, I have never bothered my parents to send me to friend’s house. I used to cycle there, even cycle to town. But now living in the city, I guess kids won’t have the luxury for riding bikes around and as for mums in big city, we bagged in extra task chauffeuring our kids around.

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Jan 03 2013

Multitask

Published by under Motherhood

Trying to multitask on morning of a school day.  Working in front of pc (blogging, FB), babysitting (the two todds are playing by themselves) and coaching my boy on some academic work. Lunch is already ready.

Brought the laptop downstairs as I am trying to confine the boy to the downstairs area only.

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Jul 19 2012

No Maid, Can Cook

Many Malaysian household heavily rely on the help of  live in domestic helpers. We often wonder, how can we cope with house chores, child minding and cooking? Especially the cooking part. It seems to be tedious job with food preparation as well as the cleaning up (actual cooking actually needs minimal time)

We have been maidless for over a year now. But never have I thought of catering food. Most days (weekdays) I cook for my children. Kitchen closed during weekends! I know my kids too well. When comes to food, each of them have specific likings. If we caters food, we will be stuck with Chinese cuisine 5 days a week. It it not that flexi. I prefer or rather kids prefer western/japanese to rotate between typical 3 dishes 1 soup chinese meal. I know every well that if I caters food, most of the food will end up in the bin. ( most food are cooked in thick black sauce, heavily seasoned etc)

Usually I start my food preparation at 4.30 pm , and I get everything done by 6.30. I cook extra for next day lunch for. (Very rare I cook lunch as my morning is really short. Lunch at home is often for WH. The girls and me will go for food hunt after school). On lazy day, I cooked ala -carte or one pot dish. It can be as simple as a donburi. On even lazier day, we call for pizza delivery or tar pau.I boil soup in the slower cooker at noon, so that we can have soup for dinner. (Don’t have thermal pot … still considering if shall invest in one)

Initially I even wanted to buy Thermomix. (and almost got one too) but later I realize I still able to cook with ease and the kids really love the process of food preparation, I gave up the thought of getting one. Don’t have happycall pan either..just make use with whatever there is at home and still manage well.

Lazy day meal

Egg and chicken donburi with salad

baked stuffs

Shall I still be able to come out with homecooked food if I am WAHM or FTWM? I am not sure… I tell you if I got the chance to be WAHM/FTWM and without maid!

 

2 responses so far

May 15 2012

Mother’s Day 2012

Published by under Motherhood

I have actually no intention to write anything about Mother’s Day, though I have seen many friends sharing their Mother’s Gifts (which is actually done in school with the guidance of teachers) and celebration in their FB and blog. I just feel that it has been overly commercialized.

I had an early dinner celebration with my parents last weekend (the first Sunday of May). It was a mistake actually. I’ve called my brother on Saturday telling him that the next day is Mother’s Day and we shall go for dinner together (even told hub about it and my in laws that I want to reserve the Sunday for my parents)…but only to realize on Sunday itself that Mother’s Day actually falls on the 2nd Sunday not the first. Nevertheless we just carry on with our plan. Thinking that it does not matter if we celebrate on the day itself or not and that we can avoid crowds, overpriced and quality compromised food on a busy day (the actual day)

I did not expect anything from my children. JL did bring back an art work from school on Thursday, which did not make me go OOh and AAhh and all excited about it. Nothing to get excited because the initiative and preparation is from the school. Not her own will. (too young for her to know)

On Friday, when I pick JS up from school, I saw her carrying a gift wrapper.  The moment she stepped in the car, she told me she bought it from the book shop in school and it is for a surprise gift, but she has not think of what gift to make yet.  All I could think off the surprise gift was something done from scrap, which she is very good at, or probably a card, which do not need a brand new gift wrapper. I didn’t give much thought to it after that.

Comes Saturday, she told me “Mummy, I think I don’t have time to do anything for you this Mother’s Day”

I said “Ok. I don’t want anything at all. As long as you all don’t fight and help me with housework, I am happy”

Sunday was a usual day for me. Busy as usual.  Woke up early to prepare the kids for basketball lesson in school. Woke them up, prepare simple breakfast for them and hubs sent them off to school. And my man left the pick up job for me. As he has a filial son’s role to play. His dad has been expressing his wish to go down to Malacca for weeks, hence this filial son finally decided to drive his parents down to Malacca for a day trip that very Sunday, else he won’t have time until we come back from vacation in June. He left the house early  with 4 kids for me to handle on Mother’s Day!!

Went to pick the kids up after their lesson. JS said she wanted breakfast… omelet and sausages! We did not have any more sausages at home and she seems to be craving strongly for it. We were already on the way home, but detoured to the pork shop to get some sausages. Back home while they shower, I was busy in the kitchen preparing their second round of breakfast of omelet, sausages and fried mushrooms.  Ooh…by the way, before they were back from school and before the two younger ones woke up , I had bring in the laundry, fold them, ironed tonnes of clothes and hand wash and machine wash another load of laundry and hang them out.

After breakfast, kids were chilling out at the living area playing toys. I was a little mad at them as someone left the dish on the table after finishing their meals and didn’t bring it to the kitchen and the floor and table were a mess of food crumbs. I was mad that no one offers to help and I still work like a bull on Mother’s Day.  I grumbled a little as I don’t even see JS, she had escaped upstairs doing her own thing right after breakfast.

She came downstairs much later while I was getting ready to bake a cake as the bananas were getting overripe on the table. She offered to take over. I let her.

While waiting for the cake to bake, they were playing with some tessellation tiles and JS called out to me “Mummy, come and see this”

She said ” I love you mum!!”

Arghh…at least cooled down my fire a little

After I had done with all the housework and got them lunch, I decided to drop over at my parents place. Told them to get ready and that’s the time I went upstairs again after I have woke up since the morning

I saw this on my work table

It did bring a smile to my face for an instant. But I did not open it. Knowing very well that the box was from their aunt, my SIL the night before. It was a door gift from a wedding dinner with two candies inside.

On the way to my parent’s place, we stopped over at the bakery to get mum a cake. In the car, JS asked “Did you see it? Have you opened it?”

Me “aiya… I know what it is already. I didn’t open. You are not sincere, you used the gift Ku Ma gave to you and use it as a gift for me”

She didn’t say anything further and so did I . We chatted on something else

We spent a couple of hours at my parents place and left at 5pm as hub was already home.

All of us napped and woke up about 7 pm. Went to  Pizza Hut for dinner, a place that we thought would be less crowded compared to Western cuisine/chinese restaurant or any other fancy restaurant.  Still it was pretty busy at the restaurant, but we didn’t have to wait for too long.

The gift was left unopened on my laptop still.

The reason why I wrote this down was because on Monday (yesterday), while clearing the table, just so happen, I unwrapped the gift. It really did surprise me.

No, she didn’t give me the two candies from the wedding. She didn’t just wrapped the box from her aunt and pass it as a gift to me.She had something else for me in the box. Guilty at charge!!! Guilty for not showing appreciation, guilty of not trusting her!

My daughter had actually stitched a heart made of felt for me. Very neatly done up too. I didn’t know when she did it, must be when I was busying downstairs on thatSunday morning.  I felt that I have owe her a gratitude on her loving gesture for me.

2 responses so far

Dec 03 2011

A+ Mummy

Published by under Motherhood

I saw this  on the web and thought of copying down and share it here.

你是A+媽媽嗎? Are you a A+/Perfect mum?

Check which applied.

□ 1.吃芒果只啃芒果核,果肉都留給孩子吃。

You let your child have the flesh of a mango/fruit and you choose to bite on the seed/core

□ 2.幾乎沒有自己獨處的時間。

Hardly any ME time

□ 3.想不起自己有什麼成就,引以為傲的成就都是孩子的表現。

Do not have any sense of accomplishment. The only pride/joy and feeling of accomplishment comes from you child’s performance

□ 4.沒有可以談心、分享育兒甘苦的朋友和親人。

Do not have anyone to share your parenting joy nor share the same parenting mentality as you.

□ 5.堅持給孩子最好的。比方說,全母乳哺育、親手做晚餐和便當、陪做功課……若是無法達成會充滿罪惡感。

Insist on giving the best to your child. For eg fully breastfeed, home cooked meal and bento, self coaching on homework… shall there be any of these that you can’t meet and fulfilled , you will be ridden with full of guilt.

□ 6.相信教養書寫的都是事實,對照自己的窘況常常感到沮喪。

Rely heavily on every single parenting books. Feel depress if your situation is less near to what is written /said in the books

□ 7.只要孩子開心,自己就開心了。很久沒有問「自己」過得好不好。

As long as my child is happy, I am happy. You have not asked true own self, if you have been doing great.

□ 8.覺得沒有人可以分擔工作,先生照顧孩子總是會有問題、婆婆媽媽觀念落伍、保母笨手笨腳等。

Feels there is no one that can share your mothering job. You don’t trust your husband, you think your mum/mil are outdated, you can’t trust the nanny.

以上的問題,若是有一半以上答案都是肯定,你很可能是自我要求太高的A+媽媽,真的很需要輕鬆一下,對自己好一點了!

If you have checked more than half of the list, you are definitely a perfectionist mum and it is time to relax and chill!

I think I used to be one, especially when I only had one child and as a new mother. Now that I have four and a son with special need, I have lowered down my expectation a lot and treat myself better. I am HAPPY!

One response so far

Aug 28 2011

Thank You , Children

Published by under Motherhood

I must admit that I am very proud of my children and very proud of myself. I think they are generally very well behaved and understanding and hasn’t gave me much of a headache.

Take for instant , last night. We got home late after dinner. I started keeping the clothes in and dumped a pile high clean laundry on the sofa and proceeded with other works and then went to have my shower. The kids volunteer to help me fold the clothes. By the time I came out from shower and settled other stuffs, half of the clean laundry already folded.

This morning, I mistakenly thought they have basketball lesson. So hub woke them up early at 6.30a.m , then I went to double check the calender and realized that there’s no basketball lesson. I asked them to go back to sleep, but they said they can’t sleep anymore. I was clearly still very sleepy and drowsy. Can’t really keep my eyes opened. I told them I need to get back to sleep. I went back to sleep with baby and daddy left for work.

They didn’t disturb me but entertained themselves for at least a good two hours, looking out for each other, had their own breakfast. I am proud of them to be able to occupy themselves and not disturbed me. I am proud that they are so independent. I am proud that they need not rely on TV, gadgets to keep themselves occupied. From the trace of the stuffs left behind, I knew what they did when I was asleep. JS was drawing and doing origami, WH was reading his magazine, played his lego, JL did some drawing and reading (picture books all over) , I over vaguely hear them playing UNO together and jiejie practiced the piano too.

I woke up afresh and feeling very proud of them. They are good children.. what else do I want to ask for?? Nothing…

2 responses so far

Jul 29 2011

Blur Mother

Published by under Motherhood

Ever since the school started in June, I no longer go pick my older children everyday. I only do it once a week, other days they are picked up by the transporter. Obviously I miss out a lot of gossip and school updates. I was there yesterday, as it was near exam period again, I overheard a mum said “the exam scope is already out in the net. Can go print already” (yeah kah? They must have gone online to check everyday) , then I also heard something “Standard one no exam. Confirm by the teacher” . Again, this poor blury mother  – yours truly , was very surprise. Not that I really care about exams as it will be just as any normal day to us, but this is really news!! As I know , many other schools , standard 1 students are/have to sit for exam at least 4 times a year.  That informer mum was saying “KSSR said only twice exam a year”

Now I am very blur mum.  I don’t go through their school bags and books (I used to when JS was in standard one) , as long as they finish their homework , I am happy. We want to save energy and time for other activities at home. But shall the kids need my help in their school work, I am always ready to coach and guide. That teach and gives them a sense of responsibility for their own school related matter.

One response so far

May 09 2011

Mother’s Day 2011

Published by under Motherhood

How’s your mother’s day celebration? I had an eventful one!

It started at 5.30am with the house alarm triggered. Hub who slept like a dead log in another room did not stir to disarm the alarm. I stared at the alarm pad and went blank not recalling the pin! Had to wake him up to turn off the alarm.

Wanted to stay awake as I need to wake kids up early for their very first basketball lesson at school. But I couldn’t stay awake. Dozed off until 7am.

And from then on it started with mad rush and nagging. We made it out of the house by 7.30am. They were 15minutes late for lesson.

With all the commotion, baby woke up too. Noticed that her wheezing was still quite bad.

After sending older kids to school, went to the market to get some vege. Hub decided to stay in and I’ve decided to cook. After that we went to the clinic to let JE had a second dose of neb. Since her condition did not improve from the night before, doc suggested we admit her to the hospital. He wrote a referral letter for us.

Went for breakfast with hub after that. However , the whole morning he was very busy on the phone sorting out work related matter.

After breakfast it was time to pick older kids from school. Wanted to send JE to hospital after picking older kids, but she fell asleep.

Took the opportunity to cook lunch. (Almost decided not to cook when doc said need to admit her). JS on the other hand was so exhausted , she fell asleep the moment she stepped in the house.

Mum came over around 10.30am, wanted to coach JS on school work. But she slept through the morning. Chit chat with mum while hub work upstairs.

11.30am, JE woke up. Wheezing still bad. Together with hub send JE to hospital. The mo check on her, gave another dose of neb, send us home to observe her. Shall her condition not improved, then we shall sent her again in the evening.

Gone home, had homecooked lunch with mum joining us. ( instead of bringing mum out, she is having food cooked by me! Not too bad of an idea, though it is plain simple food.)

SIL send JL home at 1.45pm and I brought 3 of them out for a story telling session.

After we came home at 3.30pm, I made all of them nap. I had a short nap too. JS started complaining that she is feeling more sickly.

6.30pm, decided to sent JE to the hospital. Hub went back at 7.30 and had leftover food with the kids, while I waited at the hospital. Ding dong ding dong.. Waited for the paed , get xray done, had another dose of neb and finally settle in the room at 8.30.

Hub came back to the hospital at 9.00. The moment he arrived, I received a call from JS claiming she had bad tummy ache and out of breath.

Hub took over at the hospital and I went home to check on JS as well as shower and change.

The moment I arrived home and saw JS , I know she is very sick with high fever. Immediately drove her to the clinic. She had a dose of neb too. After that we went home, I had a quick shower, rummage through the fridge to find something for a quick bite. Hub SMS-ed saying SIL will come over, asked me park my car outside. While I was reversing I bumped my car into a neighbor’s car parked outside. Luckily no major damage on both cars.

Gone back to the hospital shortly after SIL arrived. As I am half way keying this at 12.30 midnite JE was due for her four hourly neb, she dislike it so much that each time she will put up a struggle and wails.

That’s just how “exciting” my day has been. And I better go sleep now as I can barely keep my eyes open and b4 the nurses come to check on her and interrupt our sleep.

5 responses so far

Mar 09 2011

To Work Or Not

Published by under Motherhood

Ever since the day I quit my job to return home, I knew it is not a permanent arrangement. I knew that someday in the future, I still want to work. It probably won’t be a full time 9 – 5 job, but something more flexible or part time. I knew the best job is to be able to work from home, but working from home as a entrepreneur , running your own e-business is not as easy. It takes up a lot of one’s time and energy, working round the clock. Hence I really salute those mum that runs a eshop at home.

Some friends recommended work as insurance agent or be involved in MLM, but I am never good at hard selling.

I told my hub that I so wish to go back to work even though it is on a part time basis or a half day job to work at the kindies. Hub said baby still young, wait for another two more years. I hope to be able to find a job that my children’s welfare will be not jeopardize.  Come to think of it, if all of them were to attend the government school until form 5, there won’t be any chance for all the 4 to be in the same schooling session.

One response so far

Nov 24 2010

Lazy Mother

Published by under Motherhood

Due to the late night , I only manage to get up at 9.30a.m this morning but still my head very light headed. Instead of getting breakfast for all four, I let the maid handle them. (Luckily still has a maid, else I think they will have no breakfast)

Come lunch time, I only prepared scramble egg, sausage for them to go with bread.

So super lazy…

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Words Of Wisdom

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth

~ Khalil Gibran, The Prophet


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