Archive for October 2nd, 2014

Oct 02 2014

Additional Duty In Mum’s Task List

Published by under Motherhood

So, there’s a tween in the house. Generally at this age, they have their own friends and own agendas. They like to hangout with friends at mall, cafe or fast food chain,  they like to go friend’s house and they want sleepover. Hence there’s this additional duty that is adding on to the already so long mother’s task list.  But how far would you go to perform such duty?

Well, setting up playdate is nothing new to me. When WH was six and still in preschool, I am already doing this driver’s duty of fetching his friend from the friend’s parent shop to our home for them to play and then send him back. I did it because I pity him as the only boy at home whereby the girls have each other and JS has a very good friend who stays just right next door and always come over to play.

This driver’s duty extended where JS started getting invitation from classmates to play badminton at the clubhouse after school. I would drove her to the clubhouse, drop her off and pick up at an agreed time.  Still not that bad as it was not frequent.

Came this year, the driver’s job scope widen again. These kids want to have hangout at McD/Starbucks after school, and because her friend’s parents are working, I have to go pick the friends,  drop them off at the hangout place and pick them up two hours later and send the friends home. She invited friends for sleepover and I have to go pick up the friend up and send the friend home after sleepover.

These two days, right after she got back from school , she asked if I could drop her off at Ash’s house.  I am a little reluctant. Though Ash stays quite near our home, but she stays in a gated/guarded community. Not those hi 5 guards nor those that you can drive right up to the  guard house , register, leave your driving license and drive in. She stays in this community where I have to park my car somewhere, walk to the guard house to register, wait for the guard to call the owner of the house (which in this case, the mum of Ash who is at work) before I could drive in. And to repeat this process when I were to pick her up later. I just find it too troublesome. Moreover, there is no adult at Ash’s house. She is alone at home. I turned down JS’s request and she wasn’t happy. Stomping feet when going upstairs and showing me real blackened face.

Ash had been to our home for sleepover before. An eldest child of 3 from a divorce family. I don’t know her parent personally. Have not met them but the mum allowed her for a sleepover at our place. The first time, I picked her up from school and send her back home after dinner with my ILs quite late at night the  next day. That was the first time I met the mum in the dark outside their house. Can’t really see how she looks like, no small talk, she just thanked me for sending A home. That’s it.

Last Sunday, there were suppose to go school for sport’s day. Ash actually spent her weekend with her dad somewhere far away from school and our township. Simply because Ash’s dad can’t send her to school on time on Sunday morning, she asked JS if she could stay over on Saturday night. So I went to pick Ash up from her house on Saturday night after dinner with IL and to find that she was alone at home waiting for me.

When I was young, I have never bothered my parents to send me to friend’s house. I used to cycle there, even cycle to town. But now living in the city, I guess kids won’t have the luxury for riding bikes around and as for mums in big city, we bagged in extra task chauffeuring our kids around.

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You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth

~ Khalil Gibran, The Prophet
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